I know I’m in a less-than-optimal state of mind, but the way I see it, I’ve got the following options:
- Wait out the night at home, by myself, sitting with feelings of loneliness.
- Go out with a friend and
- Drink water
- Drink beer
… I’ll see if I can stick with water.
-TJ
Aside from the matter of the heart that I’ve been writing about lately, the last couple of days I’ve been finally getting around to something I’ve been telling myself I’d get around to… cleaning my apartment.
My floor is (relatively) clean. My windows are open. It’s like night and dawn how improved my apartment is–not day… I’ve yet got a way to go. I think the important thing is realizing that the progress I make is the progress I make, and that cleaning the apartment is not an all-or-nothing proposition. It’s not like if I’m not first, I’m last… but if I make progress on the floor, that’s good and I should recognize that progress and not discount it because the job is not yet “done”. Besides… cleaning is never “done”. There’s always new dust, new trash, new junk mail, etc… it’s a continual process, and all I need to do is what I can. Thanks to the Worry Cure for this one.
My apartment is cleaner, I have a better relationship with you-don’t-know-who… living in the moment and deferring non-productive worry has definitely helped me.
Think I’ll take it easy today.
-TJ
Things I have to look forward to when I get home:
I think I really should focus on finding a new place to live. I know I can do better than $915 a month for a shitty 2br/2ba apartment unit… I might as well live at the Greene for that much. No, I think I should find a house or some better accomodations, or find a cheaper place.
I should also get rid of alot of shit. Old CD covers, old games, old gizmos and gadgets that I no longer use. I used eBay a bit to sell my WoW time codes… maybe I should sell some other stuff, too.
I really just want to scour my apartment. I want to get rid of alot of stuff I don’t use. I need to process all my papers and turn them electronic. I also need to set up some kind of maintained file storage. I’m somewhat well off… maybe it’s time to re-evaluate my home network solution… perhaps use some cloud storage service?
I’ve got alot of shit to do, but I need to make a prioritized list so I can knock these things out one by one. This will be my challenge… making the list then doing it. I’m reminded of what I was experiencing in Ottawa… I started getting paralyzed once I looked up all the different things to visit. I ended up just writing down what I wanted to do that day, then went out and figured out the details as I went. Ended up being a great day on Parliament Hill! I need to keep that going. List down my stuff, understand it’s not final and can change, and work to knock things off that list each day.
I think I know what I’m doing when I get home.
-TJ
I know one thing I definitely don’t like about this country: her drivers.
For every cute female I spot up here (and there are plenty), I also find a bad driver. City driving is the worst. I think if it weren’t for the white lines that suggest where traffic should put itself, it would look alot like NYC, where cars just get in where they can fit. I spent all of 2 hours trying to figure out where I should park in Montreal today so I could explore, but I ended up passing on it because the traffic was too infuriating. It wasn’t the fact that it was slow, but it was my first time there, and I had no place to set up a base of operations, and the amount of people walking the streets was really overwhelming… I haven’t been in such a crowded place for a long, long time. Not even Los Angeles gets that crowded, and they have more than double the population! I guess when you cram a metropolis onto a small island, people will rub elbows on the street. It didn’t help that Canada’s Travaux or whatever was in full force, randomly performing asphalt maintenance on different roads in the city. It seems like everywhere I want to ride I keep running into these guys. Plus in general Canadians speed like crazy. Billboards that state the price of speeding at 120kph in a 100kph zone apparently don’t faze these guys (in Ontario it’s apparently $95 if you get caught. If you get caught. Apparently police don’t chase down speeders, as I’ve witnessed first hand many times.)
There’s alot of cool shit I want to see while I’m here. I’m spending tomorrow in Ottawa to check out their Parliament building, and perhaps even their War department building, since they’re near each other. I already booked a place tomorrow night at some hotel that’s just a few hundred metres from the Canadian supreme court, and I already saw there was some festivities downtown, so maybe I’ll be able to check that out tomorrow. But after that, I’m bee-lining for the border. I want to get back to the US where cops pull over reckless drivers and mack trucks follow the rules. Riding around in Canada is dangerous for the mentally unprepared, especially near the civilized areas. Also, I pity the color blind here, because the stoplights aren’t entirely standardized as far as signal light placement. I actually saw a traffic light with the red in the middle… that’s when I realized there’s no rule to it.
Canada, keep your transportation culture. I’ll gladly take a speeding ticket from an American cop than deal with the free-for-all that is city and highway traffic.
-TJ
I don’t know how to say “from Quebec” in Quebecois. Hell, I can’t even say “Bonjour” right.
So, I’ve been trying to pay attention to people as I walk past them around here, and it almost looks like they try their best not to make eye contact with strangers, mostly looking at the ground or straight ahead. I asked an English-speaking Quebecois woman yesterday if it was considered polite to greet people on the street, and she gave me a look of amused bewilderment. I don’t know if that’s just because we’re in the city, or if that’s how Quebecois are… I guess if I were in NYC or LA it would be the same. Still, I’ve been trying to greet folks who look at me… I’m trying to be a good example of an American tourist.
Ahh, the cultural norm. Apparently there’s a ministry of culture here in Quebec–like the one in France–that makes sure that things stay French around here. I went out to dinner with my friends and one of Lorenzo’s co-workers (she used to work on Ultima Online, Dark Age of Camelot, and Warhammer) and I guess she is a Quebec native. She was enlightening us to the quirks of Quebec culture, having worked in both America and Quebec. Apparently, there’s a rule in Quebec that says if a company doesn’t have a certain percentage of English-speaking employees, no English software can be installed to the computers… it has to be all French. Also, some Quebecois take offense when they’re spoken to in English. Don’t think this as weird, though… I work in an environment where people get “mad” when you send them emails that don’t apply to them, and people still feel a need to classify me as a race, when I am but a simple American.
Anyway, additional things I’ve noticed… Quebecois are quiet. Quebec City is quiet. I was in downtown (“Centre-ville”) yesterday afternoon, walking down the sidewalk, and realized I wasn’t hearing a ton of cars, honking, or people chattering on their phones or to each other. I actually passed a group of people and it seemed like they were having regular conversation, but they were quite low-volume. I know when I BS with my friends I’m pretty loud. Maybe it’s just me. Also, the people here aren’t as fat as in America. I hate to say it, but alot of the girls here are quite decent. At times it seems like I’m near a Yoga school or something the way all these fit girls are walking around, but it’s pretty much like that everywhere around here. Lorenzo suggested a couple times that the Quebecois in general don’t eat as much per meal, and joked that they shiver alot in the winter. We figured this out yesterday though, the people here in the city walk alot. There aren’t as many single-passenger vehicles zooming around the streets of the provincial capital. I went for a walk not too long after I parked my mechanical companion Flying Horse, and I agree… these folks are doing something right. I wouldn’t mind doing a little foreign exchange up here sometime, just to see a different way of life. Being here makes me think of the book I read not too long ago, Whole Earth Discipline, by Stewart Brand. At one point, Brand talks about how the slums in India are notable because of the way they’ve evolved… they’re quite “walkable”, i.e. to go about your daily life you don’t need to have a car or some kind of mode of travel other than your own two feet. The stores and jobs are all distributed such that people don’t need to go very far from their homes to get to them. I’ve also seen a walkability rating on some real estate websites, which measure how much you don’t have to use your car to get around–can you walk to the store? Can you walk to an entertainment venue nearby? Are there parks to visit within walking distance? I applaud this. I think everybody–not just Americans–can use more left, right, left in their lives. If America wants better looking people, then let’s weave fitness into our daily routine. I’m not talking about “setting aside” a few minutes each day to get daily physical activity, but more like let’s figure out how to get the offices near the residential neighborhoods. We reduce vehicle commuter traffic, increase foot traffic, make tighter-knit communities (because instead of honking at each other and submitting to our road rage we can greet each other as we walk past each other on the street), and some other things I can’t think of at the moment. I want to do this for Dayton at the very least… no better time to start restructuring and shaking things up than now, when we’re considered the 5th emptiest city in America. And I just thought of this… what if instead of work-at-home, we could distribute work to satellite offices? People could telecommute from an office that’s very close to their home! I’m a motherfucking genius. You’re welcome.
Humility aside, I think there’s alot of things people can learn when they travel. Each time I take these trips, I try to figure out what the edge of my comfort zone is and creep right up to that edge–I’m not one of these people who place themselves in extreme discomfort just to learn a new thing… you won’t catch this guy wading in the jungle rivers of South America anytime soon. When I’m at the edge of my comfort zone, and I take the time to reacquaint myself, I find that the next time I look around my comfort zone has expanded, and I’m able to go explore more things.
Today… Quebec City. As soon as my laundry is done, that is. Let’s go, Quebecois Dryer, I really don’t have all day!
-TJ
I think it hasn’t registered yet in my brain that I am about to take the longest journey on my motorcycle that I’ve ever attempted.
I am leaving for 2 weeks, and my vehicle of choice is Flying Horse. I’m packing 3 days worth of clothes, 2 sets of gym clothes, some cold weather gear, toiletries, sleeping bag, and that should be it! I’m also taking my camera and laptop so I can retain my connection to the world… I am never truly alone.
Well, I’m packing now. At 4AM. I plan on sleeping a couple hours, then when I wake up, it’s shower, change, armor up, and roll out! Where I end up is wherever I end up. I plan on sticking with the US routes and whatever the Canadian equivalents are for most of the transit, so I’ll be going anywhere from 35 to 50 mph hopefully, but we’ll see. I’ll be using paper maps to navigate around, and will be looking for cool things to do all the way through. My hard dates are the 7th and 14th for border crossings, but other than that I can be anywhere I want from now until the end of my trip.
…
Now I’m packed. Time for bed.
-TJ
Dear God,
First of all, thank you for every opportunity you’ve presented me up to this point. Thank you especially for these last few weeks of my life. You’ve shown me the fruits of patience, and I am all the better for that knowledge. I don’t know what lies in the future, but I will try to learn from the trials you send my way, and work to become a better person for you and for my family, friends, and neighbors.
As all prayers to you go, I, too, come to you with a request for aid.
Some people ask for strength. Some people ask for wisdom. Some people ask that you deliver them from their demons.
I ask you to help me keep my eyes open, so that I can see what you are trying to show me. I ask you to help me keep my ears open, so that I can hear what you are trying to tell me. I ask you to help me keep my mind open, so that I am not afraid to learn your truth. The next 2 weeks is my moving meditation, my mobile prayer. Help me to maximize my growth in my journey. And finally, help me share my experiences with those who seek out such knowledge.
Amen.
-TJ
First off: Damn. I don’t care what anyone says, this girl is fine.
I actually didn’t see a picture of Ms. Rima Fakih before I googled her name, but rather an article headline noted that an Arab-American won Miss USA. Of course, this sets off all sorts of threads for further research–popular reaction, who applauds her achievement, who doesn’t, what people are saying, how misguided people’s comments are… the list goes on. I think it’s fun to read comments and gauge how narrow-minded that particular person is, be they American, immigrant, Christian, Muslim, whatever. In some cases it’s easy, and in some cases it’s not.
Since this is my blog, here are my 2 cents on this.
I thought I had a longer list than this, but really this is all I care to say about the Miss USA franchise. I guess I don’t really care as much as I thought… and that amount of care was very low to begin with.
Congrats again, Ms. Fakih.
Closing thought: “I say alot of racist jokes… and my mouth says racist things… but my penis is a humanitarian.” - Dave Chapelle
Peace.
-TJ
Once upon a time…
You know, you read books and every now and then you come across a French or Latin phrase that’s adopted into English, like “vis-a-vis“, or “en route“. Well, I’m coining the phrase “en corps“, which I think means in person…
fuck.
Forget it. I was thinking of a way to say “in real life” in the context of “as opposed to just on the internet”, but the phrase “in person” should be fine, right?
… unless…
I want to capture that sentiment of “as opposed to just over the internet”, which could possibly carry its own meaning….
<ponders…>
Great! That’s settled then. I’m coining the phrase “en corps” and it will mean “in real life, as opposed to just on the internet”.
Note the time! 7:38PM on 30 APR 2010, I hopefully start a new trend. We’ll see.
-TJ
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