Ah, sweet sweet virtual life.

Wolfenstein. Doom. Doom 2. Hexen. Diablo. Quake. Starcraft.

Starcraft Brood Wars. Quake 3. Diablo 2. Unreal Tournament. Everquest.

Anarchy Online. Dark Age of Camelot. Everquest. EVE Online. World of Warcraft. Warhammer Online.

Problem is, I’ve left things in my actual life a bit subpar to my liking. I’ve let my programming skills languish. I’ve let my body go just a wee tiny bit. I think I’ve allowed games to give me that sense of goal-achievement that at one point in my life was not coming fast enough (graduation from high school, college). Now that my life is under my control, and my goals are reachable as soon as I start working towards them, I really have to bring myself to live in actual reality instead of virtual reality.

Thinking about swearing off games, I did something similar when I was going through enlisted Tech School back in Keesler AFB, MS. I didn’t have regular access to games for a couple months, and I ended up spending alot of time biking up and down the beach and going out with friends fairly regularly. Of course, near the end I started playing Guild Wars and it was back to the same-old same-old. I don’t regret it, of course… it was fun. But I feel that if I align my desire for self-fulfillment with goals that I make for myself in my own life, I’d be able to go further than I can now at only (what feels like) half-focus.

I want to raise a lv 40 Witch Hunter, I know that will be fun. Stabbing those idiot marauders in Mourkain Temple that think they can be a solo hero and charge into our killing party… I love watching those guys drop to their knees. Real life gains are slower to come by, but in the long term will benefit me more.

The problem stems from my personality. I want clear goals, and when I have them I pursue them relentlessly… this I know. The games I play I always set goals for myself, and they’re easy to define because there’s a framework already in place to make them. Real life obviously is less discrete (not discreet), so the goals are harder to define. Military life works for me because the rules are in place, and military culture is such that standards and objectives are always set before me so I know what to expect.

And… I just had a minor epiphany. My transition from enlisted to officer will require me to learn how to better set real goals. As an enlisted person doing technical work, I could essentially take for granted that I will have a written set of instructions to reference, no matter what. As an officer, I still have those written instructions, but as leaders we will be in a position to introduce new instructions and change existing ones. That requires creativity in thought, as I won’t be referencing old instructions to create new ones. This refocusing on my own life, with its abstract components, might be better for me than I realize.

I’m not saying games are bad, but as with anything moderation is key. When I let games become my source of my sense of achievement, I need to step away.